I am so tired of social media. It is toxic no matter how you look at it. You've seen the headlines, seen the studies, and experienced it yourself. But it truly is no fun. And part of the problem are rabid followers who are more like worshippers. If you dare to question what an influencer is doing or point out that something is incorrect or harmful, you get swarmed by replies attacking you. I see it constantly. The other day I had the gall to ask a beauty/true crime influencer if the lack of makeup in her last few videos was a signal toward less make up and more crime. (Her online identity is firmly in the makeup+crime niche. She may have started it. So when she stopped doing half of that equation I was curious.). I just asked a question. Well OMG the rabid mouth-foaming hounds, fans, stans, and apparently online body guards, charged into the comments to inform me that she doesn't owe me anything, etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc.
This is a silly example but pretty much anytime you disagree or post anything but hearts you get your ass flamed. I am not suggesting we be ugly to each other. But come on. Grow up. These millionaire influencers are not going to break down in tears because someone said "I don't think that's true" (and no, it's usually NOT me, but I see it happen to others ALL.THE.TIME.). I am not talking about telling a dancing 9 year old about her technique. I'm not suggesting we critique artists. You should never comment on someone's body or facial features etc. (even if they are pregnant and you think you're being cute. "You look beautiful" is enough.) I'm talking about questioning news sources, and people with massive followings and influence. Follower armies are insane. Some influencers even have to say "please don't go harass so and so if you know who it is".
Listen, yelling at people to be positive is negative. I'm so grateful that someone coined the term "toxic positivity" because I have hated it for a long, long time, especially in the spiritual circles in which I play. But I was always a bit afraid to sound like a fucking asshole to talk about it much. So whoever started talking about it...thanks...you're a badass.
When you see someone doing something cool, say so. If someone looks great, tell them! That kind of stuff makes people's days! Content creation is an exhausting and time consuming hell. But there's good content and the kind of content that makes you want that 20 seconds of your life back...angrily. Because social media is just a giant marketing machine at this point, content creation is out of control. Some of it is just stupid...you've seen the reels that leave you hanging about the way the hair color turned out or the mysterious food product being made that no one can identify. I hate that shit.
But legitimate small businesses who are creating content about their slime or their make up or their yoga or witch retreats or their cat rescue activities or whatever (I basically just told you what my feed looks like) spend SO much time trying to keep you remembering them, looking at them, watching them, buying from them. This is just how it is now. Bitches gotta make money, ya know? So engage with those people! Ignore the stupid people. Don't say unkind things. But also, when you see influencers getting shit wrong, say something. And in some cases, I think announcing your unfollow is meaningful. I know everyone says "it's not an airport" blah blah. But if you leave a comment like "clearly you are not going to address the out of control pet population and continue to breed your dog so I'll be unfollowing" signals to others as well as the account that what they are doing is not cool. Some account owners will talk shit and say "I don't care, bye!" but follows are everything so ...yeah they probably do care sometimes.
Criticism is something that we all should be able to take a little better than we do. When I was young I would burst into tears if anyone suggested I was less than perfect. But in my 30's when my life was simultaneously coming together and falling apart I learned so much about myself. I am not shy about confronting my own shadow. I am always working on myself. I change my mind about beliefs. I may be a fixed sign but I can change and adapt! When someone offers some kind of criticism now, most of the time I am able to take it in and own it, or at least examine it! I have explored my own faults at a deep level so I know what they are. That doesn't mean they don't get out of the yard occasionally, so I can handle it if someone points something out.
Society is very black and white right now. You're either right, and you are worshipped and revered, or you're wrong, you're going to hell, you're the stupidest moron ever, and you should die. Let's find some nice gray area and have a picnic and discuss our beliefs and our differences.
I'll bring the limoncello.
Comments
Post a Comment